When my husband and I took a backpack tour of Europe in 2009 we both kept hand-written journals detailing our time there. It was an enjoyable way to pass the time on the train as we traveled to our various destinations. Something about it felt very 'old world'. Maybe I just watch too many period dramas. But I am really glad to have done it. It was a trip that I will never forget but I'm sure the specifics will blur as the years go on and my life fills up with other preoccupations.

  We are about to embark on our next European adventure. This one will be considerably longer (by about five months and two weeks) and will feature all the trials and tribulations of life and travel with two very young children. Leif will be 3 years and Klaus 10 months when we take off for Leiden, Holland on June 2nd.  

This trip will be very different but I'm sure it is also going to be amazing. Instead of my little paper journal, this time, I  plan to keep up this blog. Both for my own memories but also to keep friends and family abreast of our daily life. I am also viewing it as a guide for others who may find themselves on a similar adventure.  Perhaps you will be able to learn from my almost certain mistakes.

I feel that I should let you know that while I have been out of the United States several times I am in no way a wise and worldly traveler. I am actually a very nervous traveler. I am very afraid of making mistakes and pegging myself as an obvious foreigner. I am also horribly afraid of my own ignorance and insecure in my knowledge of the greater world. These days it seems that everyone outside of the U.S. knows multiple languages and just about everything about the U.S.- our politics, our history, our culture. There were so many times on our last trip to Europe where I felt like an impostor posing as an educated person; It seemed like everyone could speak English with very little effort (Kurt and I were soundly beaten at Banangrams by a random German guy at an Amsterdam hostel).They seemed to know so much about our country and language and we  knew next to nothing of theirs. It was very humbling to say the least. I have studied both French and Spanish but I can do little more than order food in a restaurant in either one (and even then I tend to mix them up). At this point I want to throw up my hands and say that I physically can not learn another language. Or I am just afraid to fail at it. The truth is I am a horrible coward and I am afraid of being found out.

This trip I am determined to change that.

I want this trip to push me out of my comfort zone and force me to confront the things I do not know with grace and ease and determination. I want to make mistakes publicly and laugh them off. I want my kids to see me do it and to grow up thinking that it is ok to make mistakes and to be found ignorant as long as you learn from the experience. I don't want Leif and Klaus to be held back by the shrinking confidence that I have fostered in my own life. I have shied away from too many people and experiences be cause of it. 

A few years ago our friend Abby gave us a book entitled "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success" by Carol Dweck. My husband is a big fan of this book and periodically reminds me about the books basic tenant: all people can be successful in all things they just have to put the right amount of effort into it. When we are in Leiden I plan to put this to the test. I have already started studying Dutch. I love the language and I want to learn it. I want to make every effort to use it and not fall back on the fact that every Dutch person knows English. I want to make Dutch friends and speak to them in Dutch. I want to have horribly awkward conversations with them while I butcher their language. I need to do this for my own self confidence and to shake up my otherwise cautious and plain life.

That is the plan. Lets see how it goes. Het is goed, he?